I am a woman with many interests - some might say a ridiculous number of interests. Some of those interests become passions and continue to thread their way through my life for years. A few of those passions feel like a calling - something I was meant to do. When I find those things, it feels like coming home. I wonder how I lived this long without knowing it or practicing it.
Energy work calls to me. Even when I have my intellectual doubts about it or find myself resisting the practice, as soon as I am immersed in it, it feels like the most natural thing in the world. Even when I just talk to people about energy work I feel incredibly inspired and energized.
The work that calls us can also scare the Hell out of us though. Being a healer means being healed. It means being focused and grounded and opening up your heart. And scariest of all, it means you have to deal with your own shit so it doesn't get in the way. I cannot be a clear channel for Source if I have all this baggage blocking the doorway.
Yesterday I did four hours of Quantum Touch work at a local business. I'm friends with the owner and after telling her all about the workshop I took, she invited me to come to the shop and take walk-ins in order to accrue some of the practical hours I need to get certified. She set up the back room with candles and music and a chair for me to work. It was really a lovely space.
I went through my usual process around the event. It seemed like a great idea when I agreed to it and then as it got closer, I got more and more nervous and uncomfortable. I kept trying to think of ways to get out of it and reasons to cancel. I imagined it being incredibly awkward and strange or no one showing up at all. But I finally just bit the bullet and showed up.
As usual, the energy work was wonderful. I met some really amazing people and everyone was so enthusiastic and grateful for the work. Quantum Touch is incredibly powerful work. The breathing techniques raise the vibrational level of the energy and it's an incredible high. I love working on people and I am always totally buzzed afterwards.
My best friend and his girlfriend came by to see me and he asked me to work on him which surprised me. He has ADHD and usually can't sit still for 30 seconds. I actually put him to sleep! After his session was done, he laid down on the floor and fell sound asleep while I worked on his girlfriend. After he woke up, he said, "That was awesome! I want more of that!" He even left me a tip!
At the end of my day there, I felt incredibly grounded and relaxed and ready to sign up for another 4 hours. I promised to look at my calendar and schedule another date. But now I am in the part of my process where I start second guessing myself and nitpicking about all the things I did wrong. I have such a hard time trusting the experience and listening to my higher self. All those little voices of doubt and resistance start picking at me and chipping away my confidence.
I have learned that the best thing to do is just do the work. Ignore the voices and do the work. When I do the work, I am home. I feel comfortable in my skin. The voices take a vacation. So, I am heading upstairs to work on my mother-in-law who is having knee surgery on Wednesday. It's all about the process.